chatburn

uh so party on sat night for j9s 21st...everyone come!

so extreme procrastination on stuyding for my 2 exams tomarow has taken over and i figured its a good time to update this thingidy here....well im crazy busy...what else is new....but im enjoying it...theres lots of drama at work...what else is new...i got promoted to do accounting...although im not sure for what or for how long or really whats going on....and apt noone else does either....hence drama...but anywho....its all gravy if i get another raise out of it...cause its all about the money...lol....neways....home life...ehh...havent been fighting persay with the parentals...but havent really been talking either....so ehh...i got my state unc tickets for basketball in feb....very excited....hope we win...state beat fsu in football on sat hells yeah....were like the only team in the country to have ever beaten florida state in football on their home turf TWICE...yeah baby...we rock....school has kept me incredibly busy and stressed out.....there just are not enough hours in the day...esp when my procrastinating self starts to procrastinate...i dont have kerry yelling at me to study this semeseter....so i have lost the will...lol....my accounting prof sucks ass...and the test we had on wed i completely bombed...and i really hope he lets us retake it.....all my other classes are good....uh...i pretty much decided that im not gonna be home again until dec 24th....bc im just gonna be running crazy until then...and i think im gonna be able to take a week off....and im sure at the end of the week i will be ready to return home to gboro...newho if u cant tell..im bored writing this so ima quit...oh and happy bday to katie aguacasa

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ew....so i thought id let ya in on whats been goin on...still working alot...but thats good...schools kinda ehh...but its ok...i can actually apply most of my classes to life...which is good i guess...it keeps me slightly more interested than i would e otherwise...i feel kinda lost right now...i cant decide where my priorities lie right now which is confusing...i mean i know where they should be...im just not really sure where im putting them all right now....theyre all up in the air spinning around...i really wish i could settle down and figure out what i want to do and when im actually going to do it...but i guess i just have to wait and see...trouble is im not really a wait and see kinda a girl....eh for the most part..i have my weaknesses...well i hope it gets strait soon....

well....lifes been pretty good lately....im working alot...and im enjoying it...i love the ppl i work with...i love working cust serv and telling ppl what to do..i love that i cant do it my sleep..i actually have something to think about bc i dont know it all yet...and its constantly changin...which keeps my mind from wandering off and thinkin about stuff that i shouldnt which is great...and my boss seems to really like me..which is cool...although shes more my friend than my boss...but thats cool too...and schools goin well so far i think...i have got 4 tests this week..so hopefully all goes well with that....i havent had to go home much at all..which makes me super happy...i just get along soooooooooo much better with everyone when i dont see them everyday..and esp this week...i have had alot of me time and sleep time which was desperatly needed/wanted....i think im the right amount of busy...im borderline too busy...but i think i like it that way and keeps me on my toes...and bc i spend over half my time at work...where i like it....i dont have to deal with anyones bullshit hesaid shesaid shit..which i hate...dont want to be rude...but ugh.that gives me a headache...lets see what else....i love living in my apt...i love that i can just close my door and everyone disappears....its soo nice...and my schedule is such that i have alot of alone time...im truely a loner at heart...lol....i went to claires preception party thingy on friday and had alot of fun with j9 and adam and annette...i drove the 2 new cars that my dad bought last week...so that was fun..oo and i got a new state hat..which is super exiciting...bc my state visor burned up in the fire..which was real sad...i think im really just enjoying my independence this summer/semester...i mean i dont have to lie to anyone and i dont want to lie to anyone...which is really a frist in a long time....not to say that i was a cronic liar or anything..but just..i can tell my parents that i drink...and its ok....i can tell work i need off bc i didnt do my hw...or i want to go the state game...i dont have to be "sick"...and i gotta tell you...i like finally being trusted enough to do what i want...be honest about it..and have ppl respect my decision..which with my parents....is prolly a first in my whole life...i guess i have just hit that age...or maybe i changed more in england than i thought...and ppl are just slowly catching on...im realizing what is most impt to me...and whats not...and what stuff i have let slide in the past and tried to ignore is not ok anymore...and im going to stop excerting so much effort into failing relationships..that i just dont care enough about anymore to be onesided.....and all this is a good thing..i think im slowly but surely gettin my head reattached on strait....i guess the only down side i can think of...is that im ignoring how stressed out i have been makin myself...i just feel like im pumped up on so much adrenaline all the time...bc i exicited as to what im gonna do the next day...which is soo new...but at the same a lil woriesome...cause i have been shaking ALOT lately..and not being able to control that is not good...but i think/HOPE it will calm down after this weeks round of tests...well..i gotsta get back to studying for accounting...PEACE

oh wow am i busy..i dont really have time to do anything really...and it sucks...i spent last semester with more free time than i possibly knew what to do with...and this summer all i did was work....and now im workin more hours than i was during the summer (which my grandparents are prolly gonna shoot me over) and 15 hours of class...i mean really this week i worked 33 hours..i think that is ridiculous....but....i did get a promotion to customer service and i start on friday...and man do i hope i dont royally fuck it up...bc that would be neat wouldnt it....gah im busy....i wouldnt even have time to do this right...which is actually cuttin into my sleeping time...but u know with the shitty parking sit. on campus i have to leave an hour early and park at the record exchange everyday...boo...so right now im chillin in the lab waiting for my econ stat class to start...talk about a shitty class...its not really hard..its just time consuming..so grr...i suppose its better than hard and time consuming...all my other classes seem ok...i think i got alright teachers so thats good...ok...well i dont wanna keep typing this when class starts so im gonna bounce...leave love..

i would really like to go 2 whole days without someone completely and uttlerly dissapointing me

my stupid mouth, has got me in trouble, ive said too much again...

well...its been awhile since i wasnt vauge...so heres whats been happening..i went to the beach a couple weeks ago..it was alright..i got to drink and take shots with my dad which was kinda cool...but gin was kinda a bitch all week bc nichole was there..and i mean nichole is a bad kid to be fair..her parents dont discpline her so i think its only natural..but i hate it when shes with gin..i mean i really just want to ring her neck when they are together she makes gin so different and so fucking aggravating...so then i come home...and oh by the way right before the beach i got into a car accident...oh yes i was stopped at a redlight..and got hit from behind..again..i mean god lord u must think im makin this shit up...5 times is really ridculous....so i still am in my dads car...my car was supposed to be ready yesterday and now its not gonna be ready until monday...boo...my dads premium 20 gal tank is drainin my bank account...so im living in this house in greensboro that i hate..fun..my roomates are stealing from me...oh yes my life is grand...so what do i do to try to make myself better...well jeanines party this week of course..now dont get me wrong jeanine can throw a kick ass chill party...and drinkin in her pool is awesome....but do to even more recent events..being that my parents and my brother got into this insane huge fight..that ended with me being kicked out of my house 2 weeks before i was planning on movin neway...completely inconveincing me...oh course...i will just keep eating their shit with a smile i might add...all in trying to keep the peace..u know one day im gonna blow and it aint gonna be pretty...but neway..in response to this...while playing poker...i unknowingly downed like 14-15 beers and spent the entire next day puking and feeling like death..so now i have sworn off alcohol for a month...we shall see how it goes...but yes...that brings us to today....now ur all caught up...arent u glad?

im sorry im down but its impossible to be up all the time
im sorry im down but i feel like im in a vacuum sealed closet
im sorry im down but i need air to figure it out for me first
im sorry im down and im keeping you out but u know ill tell you when i need you
im sorry im down and im not trying to spite you but i have some thinking to do
im sorry im down and focused on myself.....but for right now its what i need to do for myself